All Men Love White Women, Black Women Cannot Date White Men, All Men Hate Black Women… and Why
It’s the reality that we must all face. It’s the truth that we will never accept. But there is reason… sad, demoralizing reason.
I have constantly been in search of myself and my goals for the future. Relationships tend to play a role in the way I think of my impending success, but in the guise of so much hatred and self-loathing (of others, not myself), I wonder how I will ever succeed. I am a woman of color who cannot get past race. I am in no means color-blind. And in the topic of love and relationships, I carry the preference of dating and associating with mostly only people of color.
I have never loved a white man. I say this, though I have, in my very young youth, had a very close friend that was a white male. Needless to say, we are no longer associates. I have always blamed race for our falling out. I was a smart, talented Black female, and he was a lazy, drug-addict white kid. He rode my coattails from 2nd to 8th grade, and after we graduated from middle school, he dropped out of high school and I went on to graduate from the best high school in my city and accept a full-ride from an out-of-state university (sounds like it should have been the other way around to SOME people). His dreams were built on mine; for a long time, I thought he would be my life-long partner. But reality is a bitch, and he’s what white people would consider “white trash” and I’m what white people would call “an exceptional Black scholar.” Or “one lucky nigger.” Just depends on who you’re talking to and how well their brain is connected to their mouth.
So I have decided that even though I have this higher level of education, that many of my Black brothas do not have, I will hang it in for a Black man with lesser education than a white man with equal to more education that I have. I cannot give myself up to a white man. Which is why I’m writing this, in hopes of seeing if I reasoning is similar of the same to that of a sista in my predicament.
THIS IS NOT FOR THE SHALLOW OF HEART. I AM NOT TRYING TO CODDLE ANYONE’S EGO.
Why I (A Proud Black Woman) Cannot Date a White Man
I love my people. I know my history. I know of the attempts white people have made to thwart my education (so that I hate myself and my history), which strengthens my desire to learn more about the people I love.
History. History has told me an angering story about how my ancestors, 100% African people, were kings and queens, prosperous landowners and businessmen (sounds like a fairy tale now), and wise intellectuals and teachers, who were kidnapped from their fruitful land and piled into slave “castles” without water, food, space, clothing, and cause. The savages who took my ancestors were white men. These white men, who were supposedly good Christians and believed in freedom and representation, disregarded their values and refused to extend these rights to people who had skin tones darker than their own. (Hence, I am not a Christian!)
The women of my ancestry were RAPED CONTINUOUSLY and forced to bear children who would know no love from their master-fathers, and would be shunned and mistreated by these white men’s wives, because they were the evidence of infidelity. Infidelity with a BLACK WOMAN, a woman who was not supposedly equal to a white woman, yet their husbands desired. (This is where the ORIGINAL strain of the Black-white women realtionships begins.)
I think of this every time I consider finding a white man attractive (it tends to go no farther than this). History proves that a white man only sees himself engaged with a Black woman in a sexual manner. This is proven not only in the midst of slavery, but through the Blaxploitation films of the 1960s (and the 1960s in general), and by talking to any college-aged white male (“I’d love to mess with just ONE Black chick [before I settle down with my innocent white wife]”). She may be the twist of his sexual desires, but he instictively cannot desire her for intellect and strength. He cannot see her as a good mother or an equal partner (she couldn’t protect herself from his hands as a slave, nor could she possibly have the brains to entertain a white man’s superior intellect [since she is mentally inferior]).
This is one of the reasons why many white men desire a certain type of Black woman when they claim to have a “thing” for Black women: These sistas are usually VERY dark, with natural hair (like the African slave), with slim “white women” body types and a “white” attitude (calm, supremely educated, and seemingly docile [“doormat” material, maybe?]). They are best of both worlds without really giving up any biases. They come from affluent families and have parents who are usually the “uppity” Black people all white people feel comfortable associating with. They love these women because they know these women have, for the most part, bought into the “equality” fantasy and are not going to challenge or even dig for those obvious prejudices the white male inherently carries from years of privelege and what I call “discrimination education.”
Why The Black Man (And All the Rest) Loves The White Woman
She is the epitome of beauty. Built like the 10-year-old Eminem, her coccyx is the perfect flatness to slide into those low-riders that show off… nothing. Her hair is so long and straight, she can wear it the same way for a decade and no one will be phased by her lack of creativity. And when she wants a new look, She (ooooooh) cuts/colors it. Wow.
It’s no big secret that there is nothing interesting about a white woman. Historically, she is the damsel in distress, the broad too dumb to work, and too weak and fragile to open her own door. She needed a “gentle”man so that her Barbie-esque ass wouldn’t break in half out of fragility or stupidity. And Black men, being the underappreciated, unneeded specimens that Black women have made them out to be (through becoming independant women who can support themselves and raise families alone) flocked to these creatures who couldn’t hop a street corner without assistance. Black men want to be men, and white women give them every chance to do so. They EXPECT a man who will make all of the decisions, give them all that they desire, take care of them, and they expect a certain dowry for their hand in marriage (“Show me the money”).
This is what the Black man thrives for. Control over himself, his future, and the welfare of his woman and children. These freedoms were taken away from the Black man during slavery (yes, it ALL comes back to this) and given to the white master. Black men were intentionally separated from their families during this time period. They have been forced to move and attemted to build home elsewhere. many slave men started several families throughout their lives due to their continuous selling. Time after time, he could not return to the home he just built and to the family he would have given anything to rear. These Black women went on without them and raised their children on their own. There was once a time where a male slave would buy himself out of slavery and them come back to buy his family. Slowly, a transition started where we saw the likes of Sojourner Truth and Harriet Tubman arise, where women took it upon themselves to lead escapes from masters and buying themselves and their families out of slavery. They became the breadwinners and protectors of their home, and have continuously strengthened this role to become the respect heads of thier households. They were the mother-fathers. For centuries, the Black man has attempted to win back his position as the alpha male, and has spited the Black woman for never turning control over to him again.
Which gets to…
Why All Men Hate Black Women
Black women have become so accustomed to providing for themselves, making their own decisions and being alone (“I don’t need anyone but M.E.”) that ALL men have begun to see us as an almost asexual group. And a spiteful group. Of course, we should KNOW by now that a woman’s place is behind a man, and if we curtsied and giggled at lame jokes and dreamed of being barefoot and pregnant, we would all be married. We’ve elevated our importance and role to that of a man, and that is why men are put off by us.
What have I left out? I know I sound a little angry… especially about white women. But tell ME… I could go into the legacy of Emmitt Till and how disappointed I am in Black men, but I tend to get very emotional.
Read more… Another Woman’s POV
Thanks to white men and their racist/sexist hatred of black women for over 450 years, black people as a whole are not a PURE-BLOOD RACE of people. Remember, it was white men who ran black women down, dogged them, raped them, and changed black people genetically and skin color wise. So, black people are really not black people. Black Americans are A mixed-blood, hybrid race of people. We have more genetically in common with American whites than whites do with Asians.
Children who are mixed blood suffer more from close family members who make life a hell for those children, and those so-called family members usually are the grandparents who do not accept the non-white spouse who married their white son/daughter.
Sorry for my harshness, but, millions of white men do not have the balls to consider black women as marriage material.
F**k-em material, yes, Wife–no.